Why your daydream emotions are the key to a beautiful life

Daydream relationships, whether they’re friendships, romantic relationships or family connections, can be a beautiful thing. The characters aren’t real, but your emotions are. You can love someone who only exists in your imagination. In fact, you can love them more deeply and completely than anyone you will ever meet in real life. And the wonderful thing is, that love can transform your real life in very powerful ways. So if you think there’s something wrong with daydreaming about an imaginary relationship, here’s what you need to know…

Daydream relationships are authentic

Your daydream world is your safe space, your refuge. It’s where you can show up as your authentic self without fear of judgement or rejection. It’s somewhere you can rewrite your circumstances, be free of societal expectations and explore possibilities beyond what the real world can offer you. You don’t need to pretend in order to fit in.

And the relationships you have in your daydream world are safe and authentic too. Your daydream characters see you for exactly who you are. They love you unconditionally, because that’s what you created them to do. Your actions cannot damage your daydream relationships unless you’ve decided that’s how you want the plot to unfold.

Emotions run deep

So what happens when you have a completely safe and authentic relationship? You get very deep and powerful emotions. Your love for your daydream characters might be stronger than anything you’ve ever felt for a real person. And that’s OK. The problems only start when you tell yourself that the love isn’t real because the character isn’t real, or that you’ll never be happy in real life because you’ll never find love like you have in your daydreams. Both those beliefs are wrong; and it’s the beliefs, rather than the emotions, that can hold you back.

Loving your characters helps you to love yourself

When you accept that the love you feel for your characters is real, you create an infinite source of love inside you that no one can ever diminish or take away from you. And because the emotion is real, it’s not limited to your daydreams. You can carry it with you every single day, as you move through the real world. And when you do that, it doesn’t matter what happens to you. Because you know you’re loved. You’re no longer dependent on reality to meet your emotional needs.

Your imagination created these characters who will love you no matter what. And that means you’re worthy. You are enough, just as you are. You don’t need to achieve anything, or meet anyone’s expectations, in order to be loved and accepted. Because you’re already loved and accepted in a way that you’re never going to find outside yourself. And that means you have this rock-solid sense of I’m OK that nothing outside of you can touch. It might not look like a non-daydreamer’s definition of self-love, but that’s basically what it is.

That self-love is the foundation on which you build your life

Once you accept that the love you feel for and from your characters is real, and that therefore you are lovable exactly as you are, it opens so many possibilities.

You find you have more love to give to everyone around you in the real world, because you know that the love inside you can never be depleted. You can love people without reservation or expectation. Relationships flourish because you have the courage to show up with authenticity and vulnerability.

You have more self-confidence. Once you understand that you’re worthy and lovable no matter what, it’s easier to see failure as a temporary setback and a learning opportunity rather than as the end of the road. You’re willing to try new things simply for the joy of discovering what you’re capable of.

Your happiness no longer depends on external circumstances. You’re happy because you have an infinite source of love inside you. You want to improve your life, and the lives of those around you, because you want to spread joy, not because you’re desperately trying to escape from pain.

Your relationship with your daydreaming improves

You might think that finding deep, profound, unconditional love in your daydreams will fuel a dangerous addiction to your daydreaming. But actually it does the opposite. When you tap into the love that your daydream relationships provide, that love spills over into the real world, and it’s expressed as love for the people around you and for life itself. You see the potential in a reality that you previously wanted to escape from. You want to push the boundaries, to learn and grow and discover what you’re capable of. And that pulls you back to the real world, because that type of growth simply isn’t possible in a daydream.

Paradoxically, the love you find in your daydreams can be the motivation you need to come back to reality and to make that reality more fulfilling than any daydream. The love you feel for your characters doesn’t keep you trapped in your daydream world. What keeps you trapped is your insistence that the love isn’t real or that you can’t be happy unless you can replicate it in reality. But when you let go of those beliefs, you realise that you already have all of the love you need to make your real life whatever you want it to be.

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