My son celebrated his tenth birthday last week, which prompted me to pause and reflect on the way he came into the world. I’d always liked the idea of a water birth, but when I started to research it in more detail I realised that my options for pain relief would be quite limited. I realised that if I was going to have a water birth, it would have to be a lot less painful than my first experience of giving birth. So I read every book I could find on natural childbirth, I listed to hypnosis recordings, I went to pregnancy yoga – basically everything I could think of to prepare me for a natural pain-free birth experience. Any by the end of my pregnancy, I knew that my mind and body were as prepared as possible. But when the time came, I didn’t get my water birth. My son arrived too quickly and we never even made it to hospital. I had an unplanned home birth, and I can honestly say it was the most beautiful thing I have ever done. And it didn’t particularly hurt.
So, what does this have to do with daydreaming? Well, that experience taught me the power of absolute self-belief. I am convinced that I had such an easy birth because I believed, with no doubts whatsoever, that everything was going to work out for the best. I think this is what people mean when they talk about manifesting, or the law of attraction. When we believe that something is going to happen, we subconsciously think and act in ways that move us in the right direction.
But that’s where we daydreamers have a problem. We know that our daydreams aren’t real, we know that they won’t come true. In fact, sometimes we even use that knowledge to reassure ourselves that we aren’t crazy. We know the difference between fantasy and reality, so that proves we’re not delusional or psychotic. But does living with that constant awareness that what goes on in our heads is just a fantasy disrupt our ability to manifest a realistic goal that we want in our real lives?
My experience has shown me what’s possible when I really focus on achieving something. Our ability to visualise things so vividly should be an asset when it comes to manifesting our goals. So, how do we use our daydreaming ability to help us move effortlessly towards something we want to achieve in real life?
Build a realistic vision of your future
It’s OK to still have your regular daydreams – the ones you know won’t or can’t come true. But build in a bit of time for realistic daydreaming too. Build a vision of your future as you want it to be a month, or six months or a year from now. Keep it realistic, and practice telling yourself that this is a plan, not a fantasy. Be willing to commit to following through, to doing whatever it takes to achieve your dream, because you can.
Build on past successes
My experience of giving birth taught me that I can achieve anything I want to, if I have a sufficient level of belief in my abilities. Think about it – have you ever achieved something that you had so much confidence in that it was inconceivable it would turn out any other way? If you have, then tap into that feeling, draw strength from it and let it inspire you in everything else you decide to aim for. If you haven’t yet had that experience, then that’s all the more reason to aim for something wonderful right now, so that you can know the satisfaction of achieving it and let it push you on to even greater things.
Achievement in the real world takes work, and we daydreamers aren’t used to having to put effort into getting what we want. So we need to have tools to keep us motivated along the way. One of the best ways to stay motivated is to stay inspired. Either look back at your past successes to remind yourself what you are capable of, or keep revisiting that realistic future vision to remind yourself of why you want this. You need to stay connected to both your belief in yourself and your belief in your future.
And finally, remember that in the real world things don’t always work out the way you intended. We don’t have total control. The universe sometimes throws something unexpected in our path. I didn’t get the water birth I’d been dreaming of, but I got a more peaceful, calm and beautiful birth than I could ever have imagined. And I think that’s an important point. If you believe, really believe, in a realistic, inspiring vision of your future, then even if it doesn’t come true, you open yourself to receiving something even more wonderful in its place.